The most difficult skill to master is also the most important skill to master with Healthy Habits
This is tough to talk about as a health coach, but I had a client absolutely break my heart. Well, I’ve actually had several, but there’s one that stands out for this particular point today. You know, every time I do an initial conversation with a new client, I tried to dig deep.
As a health coach, I’d not only want to know what your goal is, but I really press hard to find out why you have that goal. And one of my clients told me point blank, “because I hate myself, I hate how I look, I hate how I feel. I hate how people look at me, I hate everything about me. And I need to do this so that I can be less like I am right now.”
(Aside: If you’d like to hop on a call and talk about your goals, you can connect with a health coach here)
And I will tell you that took the wind out of my sails when he told me that, right, because oftentimes, people will tell me that I am this really radiant, really optimistic, really hopeful person that they like my positivity. And seeing the world through this guy’s eyes was really difficult.
And this was a while back before I had honed more my mindset skills and able to help people as well as I do now. But this client struggled hard for so long. Because they were really missing. What was the hardest skill to master being healthy, and what is an absolute prerequisite to being healthier.
But the reality is, and I teach all my health coaching clients this to be healthy. It absolutely starts with loving yourself and acting accordingly. You have to act like you love yourself, you have to act like you care about yourself. That is the key to health.
Look, the foundation of my health coaching is that REBELs oath, right? We talked about it in the introduction, it’s rejecting extremes, it’s energizing yourself through healthy habits. It’s breaking free from common standards, it’s exciting yourself about your potential. And finally, and ultimately, it’s loving yourself and acting accordingly.
Because I’m a health coach, I work with my clients to really, really kind of hone this in and change the narrative of what health really means. Right? I know, it’s super common in the fitness industry to really work from this, this dark place of insecurity of of inadequacy of not being good enough, right, you’re not fast enough. So you have to train to get faster, you’re not big enough. So you have to lift weights to get bigger, you’re not you’re not good looking enough. So you have to go to the gym, so people will like you.
But that’s not true. That’s that’s only going to push your goals away. As a health coach, I always work with my clients. And I want to talk about the benefits that health gives us. We do this because we love ourselves because we respect ourselves because we like ourselves. We do these healthy habits to support our health because we love ourselves. Health Coaching should teach you to love yourself. And that really is the hardest skill to master to be healthier.
It’s incredibly difficult to wake up and say that I like myself, and I’m going to do good things for myself. Just for the sake of being good to myself. We haven’t been taught this. society wants us to be insecure. It’s a really great efficient way to sell people. And if you ever get for our spare time, I recommend the BBC documentary, a century of self. It talks about a lot of the marketing manipulations that were started by people such as Edward Bernays and Paul Mazur, who used and preyed on people’s insecurities to try to market them and sell them more stuff. And unfortunately, in the health industry, in the fitness industry, we’ve continued that, right fitness is all about insecurities and trying to trying to drive ego.
As a health coach, I want to be about bounty. I want to be about vitality from the inside out. As a health coach, I want you to love yourself and grow yourself and be more abundant, more vital, more energetic, more confident, I want you to be more of yourself. What hurt a lot was listening to this client say they wanted to be less of themselves. And I knew at that moment that it was going to be a tough road. Because all the time if we’re if we think about this from a point of battle as as a fight against yourself as working against yourself as as fighting against all the things you hate about yourself. It’s very nasty headspace and will create a natural aversion we’ll try to avoid it all the time. And so now, exercise healthy habits good Nutrition, instead of being a joyous experience, it continues to be a punishment for being who you are for. It’s a lack of permission to be yourself. But when we go the other direction, we can make things more Bountiful, we can make things more enjoyable, we can be excited.
One of my favorite things in health coaching is listening to clients that say, I now like exercise, because it lets me feel better. I like exercise, because it gives me the stamina to play with my kids. I like exercise, because it allows me to have more opportunities with my family and friends. Right? I want you to have more through your healthy habits. As a health coach, I want you to grow and to be happier to be more abundant. And this isn’t just some hippie bullshit. There’s actual science behind this as well. We’ve done research and we found that the body will release different chemicals, different biochemistry, if you’re doing forced exercise, versus voluntary exercise. When you’re doing exercises that you choose to do, that you enjoy doing, that you elect to do, your body will send more adaptive signals and more adaptive chemicals, things that will promote better outcomes and promote more results and promote more health. However, when you’re doing this against your will, when you’re being forced into it when you when it’s miserable when it’s suffering, your body releases more stress chemicals, more cortisol especially. And this breaks down the body, it actually moves you away from your goal.
Even if you do what is textbook, right, what looks like it should make you healthier. If we’re doing it from a place of hate and disdain, we’re releasing the chemicals of decay and break down, we’re actually going to push ourselves away from our goals, if we do it from an angry mental space. And I know I know, it’s hard. We’ve been constantly inundated with common media that we’re not good enough that we don’t measure up that we haven’t hit the right standards. And it’s hard to think that you’re good enough as you are right now. And that’s why it is the hardest skill to master. But really, above all else, if we can just act like we like ourselves, like we care about ourselves, and like we love ourselves. If we just act like that. Man, it makes healthy habits so much easier, and insanely more productive. So that’s my big takeaway today. Look, I put it on the REBEL Oh, you’re gonna hear it in every episode, love yourself and act accordingly. And with my almost 15 years experience in the industry, as a health coach, I found there is no greater skill that will get you to the results. Nothing is greater than learning to love yourself. And that’s a hardest skill to master. But once you do, your health, your fitness, your joy in life is going to explode greater than you can even imagine. That is the hardest skill to master and the most productive one as well. And until I see you again for another episode of the Health REBELs podcast, you know what to do REBEL, keep the oath
especially the last part